We went to the park yesterday and played for a while. Another Mom and Dad showed up with their two kids and this is what Aiden said to them:
"Emmy's not a baby anymore. Julia is. But she died, she's with God. She's sick"
So easy for him.... not so easy for me to talk about. A neighbor wandered over the other day while I was out sitting watching my kids play. He says to me "how much longer?" Meaning how much longer till my due date and as I hesitated, he persisted. I had a blanket around me so it disguised my body, he couldn't tell. The thoughts flew through my my brain. How do I tell this man that in the short 2 and a bit weeks that I hadn't seen him - I had given birth, sat at my baby's bedside hoping she would get stronger and dreaming of the day that she would come home from the hospital - then said goodbye to her, planned and had a funeral, and then buried her.
It hardly seems real to me.
On a different note, we had a wonderful day with Aiden. Just Aiden, Matt and I. We took Aiden to his first ever movie at the movie theater. Planes. We also took him to pick out glasses. We had a lot of fun together.
We are still figuring out what our new life and new reality looks like but one thing we do know is that this experience is changing the way we view and value our time. It's a true rearranging of priorities. I still get impatient and annoyed with my children's behavior sometimes - oh, how I wish I didn't... but I'm not perfect.
1 comment:
No, no one is perfect and that hurts sometimes. But it's hard because the reality is that kid's behaviour can, at times, be quite annoying. Well, very very very annoying They're sort of made that way :)
You're also a really fabulous mom who teaches them to be kind and respectful and wonderful playmates. It's obvious that they are so loved.
Thanks for sharing!
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